
The holiday season, a time full of love, joy and good will towards everyone-- right?? Unfortunately, it can also be the time when frustrations with ex-spouses and holiday arrangements can reach a boiling point. As we enter into a time of the year that should be a happy time, here are some tips on how to hopefully avoid problems with your ex-spouse/other parent.
- Make sure you understand when you are supposed to have the kids. No matter how sure you are, it’s doesn’t hurt to look at your decree and make sure you are correctly remembering the dates and times each parent is entitled to for the holiday in question.
- Confirm that you and the other parent are in agreement on the schedule. Communicate, communicate, communicate! Verify via email or text with the other parent when each of you will have the children, when you’ll meet (date and time), and where you’ll meet. If either parent plans on sending someone in their stead that should be communicated and agreed upon in advance.
- Do 1 and 2 well in advance. If you discover that you and the other parent are not in agreement you want to ensure that you have time to either resolve the issue with the other parent or contact your attorney. Don’t wait until 1 or 2 weeks prior to the holiday to call your attorney. If court intervention is required it may take 3 or even 4 weeks to get in front of a Judge to resolve the issue. No matter how badly your attorney wants to help you, there are limitations on what any attorney can accomplish in the 11th hour.
- If you’re actively involved in litigation try to call a temporary truce. The courthouse is closed on Thanksgiving and Christmas anyway—whatever needs to be done will have to wait in any event.
- Remember your actions affect other people, especially your children. Resist all temptation to engage in petty, mean spirted or vindictive behavior. Practice the Golden Rule; be the adult in the room who remembers your child deserves to have a wonderful holiday, no matter how bad the other parent chooses to behave.
- A Word for the Grandparents, Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and Friends: If you have a son, daughter, grandchild, niece, nephew, or a friend who is going through a tough time please lend them an ear and help bring out the best of them. Help them remember that their children are watching and learning, for good or bad.
The attorneys at Simpson, Jensen, Abels, Fisher & Bouslog, P.C. are experienced in handling complex family law issues. If you have questions regarding handling holidays as a divorced parent, contact us at (515) 288-5000 to discuss with our firm.
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